Relationship Tips: For Relating to Self, Other, Community and the Planet
One thing in life we can’t live without is relationship. Psychologist, Harry Harlow, was one of the first to experiment on the importance of social contact and emotional attachment. Today we are discovering more and more how we are all connected and as the old saying goes, “no man is an island unto himself.”
Relationship actually means the way in which two or more people, groups, communities, countries behave toward each other. The quality of the relationship can grow and change based on any one person in the relationship. If one person in a relationship changes, the relationship changes.
RELATIONSHIP TO SELF:
Commit to observing your self-talk and speak to yourself like your best friend.
Most people will accept negative treatment/talk toward one’s self much more easily than they would a friend. Become mindful of how often you break a promise to yourself, neglect spending quality time with yourself, putting yourself first, taking care of your personal space and body. These habits are part of a healthy selfishness that is often put down in our society. But, as they say on the airplane, put your oxygen mask on first then help others.
RELATIONSHIP TO OTHERS:
Practice lowering your expectations of others.
I have noticed over the years so much of our personal suffering is connected to being upset, in conflict with or over-thinking about other people’s behavior and how it does not meet our expectations of them. When we put aside our expectations of perfection for ourselves, and, other’s, we open our hearts and minds to greater possibility for peace and happiness.
RELATIONSHIP TO COMMUNITY:
Giving is a form of receiving just as receiving from another is a gift to them as well as to us.
Living in a community, there are ample opportunities to give and receive from one another. This process expands our sense of connection. The more connected we are the healthier we are. Belonging to a group or community gives us a sense of identity. And, this health/happiness is contagious. Psychologist, Dr. James Fowler studied the effects of happiness on others and states: “We found a statistical relationship not just between your happiness and your friends’ happiness, but between your happiness and your friends’ friends’ friends’ happiness.”
RELATIONSHIP TO THE PLANET:
Connecting to the Earth is a key way to feel grounded within yourself and in your environment.
When we are grounded we are able to feel more present and less triggered and defensive. Grounding with the earth can happen by spending time in nature, bringing conscious awareness to your body and how it feels in relation to the earth, to a chair you are sitting on, or the ground you are walking on. Respecting the power of nature helps us connect to our human nature. This connection helps us feel humble and is a wonderful way to feel connected to our self, others and the planet.
For more information on how to connect click Upcoming Evenings: WE ARE ALL CONNECTED WORKSHOP.